Do All Dogs Need A Doggie Friend?
Dogs are a social species, and like humans, their sociability and tolerance can vary from the extrovert or uber-social to the introvert or recluse. It’s why not all humans get along with each other. Most dogs fall somewhere between extrovert and introvert, meaning they will probably like most dogs or be somewhat selective. However, this may change over time, and it’s normal for older dogs not to be as social. That’s why bringing a puppy into a home with an existing senior dog is something you need to carefully consider before making a decision.
I love the eternal optimism shown by those who believe that if left to their own devices, all dogs would frolic all day together, enjoying one another's company. Unfortunately, that’s a myth. When we fail to accept that our dog may never enjoy interaction with other dogs, we can cause discomfort and even cause harm to our dogs and others.
When a dog is timid or reactive toward other dogs, it is experiencing an emotional response. The emotion might be fear, anger, or a combination of both. Emotional reactions cannot be trained out of existence, as we can teach a dog to sit or come when called. The brain doesn’t work that way.
Rescued dogs can be great companions—most of my dogs have been rescued—but they often come with some behavioral "baggage." Sometimes, that can be changed, but it is typically a slow, methodical process. Like with people, the longer your dog exhibits an undesirable behavior, the more energy and time it takes to change that behavior. No matter how hard you try, you might not be successful. Sometimes, as in the story to follow, it’s best to let things be if your dog is comfortable with you and the environment in which it lives.
We rescued a Cairn Terrier named Dulcie, who was estimated to be five when she joined our family. The place where we found Dulcie required that she meet our other dogs before we could adopt her. They all met while on a leash, and everyone got along fine. It’s important to understand that these evaluations are a snapshot in time and are not a guaranteed predictor of future behavior. Evaluations like this may result in a false positive, suggesting everything is okay when, in Dulcie's case, it was and wasn’t.
We adopted Dulcie and let her settle into her new home with me, my wife, four dogs, and a cat. She instantly bonded with me, my wife, and the people working in our store. There were no altercations with our other dogs, so after a few weeks, I enrolled her in our daycare.
After two days at daycare, my team came to me and said, “Don, Dulcie hates daycare.” They were all knowledgeable and well-trained, so I trusted their judgment, but I did ask them what they observed. They explained that Dulcie would happily hang out with the people; they loved her as much as she loved them. However, Dulcie had no interest in the other dogs. Dulcie did not play, and if another dog attempted to approach her in a friendly greeting, she would exhibit a toothy grimace and a low rumbling growl, and the other dog would back away. The little 10lb dog, the smallest in the group, was not as sweet as her name. According to Google, “Dulcie comes from the Latin word dulcis, meaning "sweet,” and is also inspired by the Spanish word for "candy." It's related to Dulce, a traditional name that Cervantes drew inspiration from when naming Dulcinea, the chosen lady of the erratic knight Don Quixote.”
Dulcie never barked, lunged, or attacked another dog. She didn’t need to, as they all respected her desire for them to stay away. After that, I watched her more closely at home, and the calming signals she gave our other dogs were quite evident. Calming signals are subtle body language dogs use to say, “Stay Away” or “Please, Come Closer.” Since Dulcie wasn’t enjoying the other dogs in daycare and was making it less enjoyable for others, we disenrolled her after two days.
Dulcie’s total disinterest in other dogs did not concern her. In other words, not all dogs want a "doggie friend," just as some people prefer a solitary life. That's not abnormal, and it's perfectly okay. Because she was very happy and content in our home, I saw no reason to try to change her. At five years of age, with an unknown background of what occurred during that period, the probability of changing her behavior towards other dogs was small and, in my opinion, unnecessary. Changing a basic temperament or personality type in a person or dog is often next to impossible and can easily cause more problems than it solves.
Your dog should ALWAYS have a choice about whether to interact with another human or animal.PLEASE never force them to be social because that’s what you want.
Don Hanson lives in Bangor, Maine, where he is the co-owner of the Green Acres Kennel Shop (greenacreskennel.com) and the founder of ForceFreePets.com, an online educational resource for people with dogs and cats. He is a Professional Canine Behavior Consultant (PCBC-A) accredited by the Pet Professional Accreditation Board (PPAB)and a Bach Foundation Registered Animal Practitioner (BFRAP). Don is a member of thePet Professional Guild (PPG), where he serves on the Board of Directors and Steering Committee and chairs the Advocacy Committee. He is also a founding director of Pet Advocacy International (PIAI). In addition, Don produces and co-hosts The Woof Meow Showpodcast,available at http://bit.ly/WfMwPodcasts/,the Apple Podcast app, and Don's blog: www.words-woofs-meows.com.The opinions in this post are those of Don Hanson.